so Becca has like 3 books. They have profession looking covers, have profession looking titles, most are written by people who for all I know are doctors. real Book-books. Am I jealous? oh yea.
but then Becca starts telling me she got me a book to read too. I'm kinda stoked. However I am currently reading a pretty interesting history of Mithradates, The Poison King. A great general who practically raised himself in the middle of Turkey. I'd like to see my kid do something resourcful like that. maybe he'll have a little Hatchet adventure of his/her own one day.
but anyway - today -
the book arrives, so I hear. I get home expecting a white bound text book with blue print break down of baby heads and how to feed them with food and knowledge but what I get is -
My Boys Can Swim! A Guy's Guide to Pregnancy. Heavy on the animation - cute chapter titles like "Move over Dolly Parton" and "Baby Ex-lax" I'm wondering why she didn't get me a book I'd really like ....
maybe something written from Jeffy Foxworthy's point of view. Or even Larry the Cable Guy's Baby Book.
and like if she thinks I'm stupid - why is she having my kid? I wouldn't want to have kids with a woman using a Gary Larson anthology for prenatal care.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
New rules
so the newest rule: I can't watch a movie on HBO unless I have seen the opening credits. No movies on any channel without the credits. I am not in the act of "watching a movie" unless I have seen said movie's opening credits. I'm pretty malleable to most of Becca's pregnant laws, especial the laws decreed in the Target parking lot. 6 miles away from the television.
But I'm also the kind of guy who likes watching himself the last 5th of Inception, Lean on Me, and Role Models. this is really going to limit my viewings of Transformers 2, Avatar, Terminator Resurrection, and most Lord of the Rings marathons on TNT.
And I think I've been obeying this rule; maybe I slipped when I saw Predators was at that scene where Shane from The Shield got his skull ripped out of his person via the spinal chord. but otherwise I've been following the opening credit movie doctrine.
This morning I woke up at 3am for some reason, turned on the television to see the opening credits of A Fistful of Dollars. Not just the scene when the Rojas gun down the Baxters, or when the fat guy is smashed with the giant beer barrel, but right smack in the middle of the cheesy animated credits.
No way. This new rule can suck it, I've seen the opening credits. I am in the clear, never mind it is 3am and I'm the only one up. I'm living by the new rules, and that's why we're watching it.
the royal we.
then the movie ends at 430, time to try to go to bed, wait, what is this, A Few Dollars More?! Am I just settling into a marathon? complete with opening credit viewing authorization? and then bam! The Good, The Bad, The Ugly the penultimate flipped to in the middle of movie on a Sunday afternoon only it is 630 in the morning and I have seen the opening credits - I have crossed the Rubicon.
Sergio Leone movies as a reward for insomnia? This is one of the greatest Tuesday mornings of my life.
But I'm also the kind of guy who likes watching himself the last 5th of Inception, Lean on Me, and Role Models. this is really going to limit my viewings of Transformers 2, Avatar, Terminator Resurrection, and most Lord of the Rings marathons on TNT.
And I think I've been obeying this rule; maybe I slipped when I saw Predators was at that scene where Shane from The Shield got his skull ripped out of his person via the spinal chord. but otherwise I've been following the opening credit movie doctrine.
This morning I woke up at 3am for some reason, turned on the television to see the opening credits of A Fistful of Dollars. Not just the scene when the Rojas gun down the Baxters, or when the fat guy is smashed with the giant beer barrel, but right smack in the middle of the cheesy animated credits.
No way. This new rule can suck it, I've seen the opening credits. I am in the clear, never mind it is 3am and I'm the only one up. I'm living by the new rules, and that's why we're watching it.
the royal we.
then the movie ends at 430, time to try to go to bed, wait, what is this, A Few Dollars More?! Am I just settling into a marathon? complete with opening credit viewing authorization? and then bam! The Good, The Bad, The Ugly the penultimate flipped to in the middle of movie on a Sunday afternoon only it is 630 in the morning and I have seen the opening credits - I have crossed the Rubicon.
Sergio Leone movies as a reward for insomnia? This is one of the greatest Tuesday mornings of my life.
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